Islamic Marriage
Prophet Muhammad said:
‘The worst of the feasts are those marriage feasts to which the rich are invited and the poor are left out”. (Mishkat)
It is recommended that Muslims attend marriage ceremonies and marriage feasts upon invitation. Prophet Muhammad said:
“…and he who refuses to accept an invitation to a marriage feast, verily disobeys Allah and His Prophet”. (Ahmad & Abu Dawood)
Marriage (nikah) is a solemn and sacred social contract between bride and groom. This contract is strong and covenant (mithaqun Ghalithun) as expressed in Quran (4:21). The marriage contract in Islam is not a sacrament. It is revocable. Both parties mutually agree and enter into this contract. Both bride and groom have the liberty to define various terms and conditions of their liking and make them a part of this contract.
‘The worst of the feasts are those marriage feasts to which the rich are invited and the poor are left out”. (Mishkat)
It is recommended that Muslims attend marriage ceremonies and marriage feasts upon invitation. Prophet Muhammad said:
“…and he who refuses to accept an invitation to a marriage feast, verily disobeys Allah and His Prophet”. (Ahmad & Abu Dawood)
Marriage (nikah) is a solemn and sacred social contract between bride and groom. This contract is strong and covenant (mithaqun Ghalithun) as expressed in Quran (4:21). The marriage contract in Islam is not a sacrament. It is revocable. Both parties mutually agree and enter into this contract. Both bride and groom have the liberty to define various terms and conditions of their liking and make them a part of this contract.
Mahr
The marriage-gift (mahr) is a divine injunction. The giving of mahr to the bride by the groom is an essential part of the contract.
‘And give the women (on marriage) their mahr as a free gift” (Quran 4:4)
The amount of mahr is not legally specified, however, moderation according to the existing social norm is recommended. A Muslim husband has to agree a financial deal with the prospective wife before marriage. This money present is known as the mahr, and is a
payment made to the bride which is hers to keep and use as she wishes. Mahr is a token commitment of the husband’s responsibility and may be paid in cash, property or movable objects to the bride herself. The mahr may be paid immediately to the bride at the time of marriage, or deferred to a later date, or a combination of both. The deferred mahr however, falls due in case of death or divorce.
The reason is that even if the girl has nothing, she becomes a bride with property of her own. If the bride later seeks a divorce which the husband does not wish for, she is allowed to return him the money and seek what is known as a khul divorce. Normally, if a divorce takes place for the usual reasons, the bride would be entitled to keep the mahr.
Sometimes a bride (or her family) demands an enormous mahr. The Prophet (pbuh) set the example of modest sums, and many Muslim women generously use their money to support their husbands and families in some way, although they are not obliged to do so.
If a woman has money of her own, she is not obliged to spend it on her husband or family, but a Muslim husband has the obligation to be able to keep and support his wife and children himself, at his own expense. If a wife goes out to work, or donates money, this is to her credit and is regarded as an act of charity (sadaqah).
Jahez however, is when the husband takes dowry from the father of the bride as a gift to make sure he takes care of the father's daughter,the bride.
‘And give the women (on marriage) their mahr as a free gift” (Quran 4:4)
The amount of mahr is not legally specified, however, moderation according to the existing social norm is recommended. A Muslim husband has to agree a financial deal with the prospective wife before marriage. This money present is known as the mahr, and is a
payment made to the bride which is hers to keep and use as she wishes. Mahr is a token commitment of the husband’s responsibility and may be paid in cash, property or movable objects to the bride herself. The mahr may be paid immediately to the bride at the time of marriage, or deferred to a later date, or a combination of both. The deferred mahr however, falls due in case of death or divorce.
The reason is that even if the girl has nothing, she becomes a bride with property of her own. If the bride later seeks a divorce which the husband does not wish for, she is allowed to return him the money and seek what is known as a khul divorce. Normally, if a divorce takes place for the usual reasons, the bride would be entitled to keep the mahr.
Sometimes a bride (or her family) demands an enormous mahr. The Prophet (pbuh) set the example of modest sums, and many Muslim women generously use their money to support their husbands and families in some way, although they are not obliged to do so.
If a woman has money of her own, she is not obliged to spend it on her husband or family, but a Muslim husband has the obligation to be able to keep and support his wife and children himself, at his own expense. If a wife goes out to work, or donates money, this is to her credit and is regarded as an act of charity (sadaqah).
Jahez however, is when the husband takes dowry from the father of the bride as a gift to make sure he takes care of the father's daughter,the bride.
Arranged Marriages
Qur'an
Muslim marriages are frequently arranged by the parents of the young people. This is not an Islamic necessity, but parents are encouraged to do their best to see their offspring settled with good life-partners. Although divorce is allowed, the ideal is to settle down with a life-partner, and of all the things God does permit, divorce is said to be the thing He likes least.
Most young Muslims live sheltered lives, and are not encouraged to mix freely with the opposite sex - and consequently are protected from the business of 'falling in love', which can lead to all sorts of heartaches, clouded judgement, unsuitable relationships, and tragic consequences.
Most young Muslims live sheltered lives, and are not encouraged to mix freely with the opposite sex - and consequently are protected from the business of 'falling in love', which can lead to all sorts of heartaches, clouded judgement, unsuitable relationships, and tragic consequences.
The Ceremony
The actual Muslim wedding is known as a nikah. It is a simple ceremony, at which the bride does not have to be present so long as she sends two witnesses to the drawn-up agreement. Normally, the ceremony consists of reading from the Qur'an, and the exchange of vows in front of witnesses for both partners. No special religious official is necessary, but often the Imam is present and performs the ceremony. He may give a short sermon.
There are certain things which are basic to all Muslim marriages. Marriages have to be declared publicly. They should never be undertaken in secret. The publicity is usually achieved by having a large feast, or walimah - a party specifically for the purpose of announcing publicly that the couple are married and entitled to each other.
Many wedding customs are a matter of culture and not of Islam. The bride and groom may be obliged to sit on 'thrones' on a platform, to be seen by the guests. They may receive gifts, or gifts of money.
The majority of brides favour a traditional white wedding dress, but brides from the Asian subcontinent often favour a shalwar-qameez outfit in scarlet with gold thread, and have their hands and feet patterned with henna. They might also have vast feasts with hundreds of guests, usually with the males in a separate room from the females. Other Muslims have simple celebratory parties with only close friends and relatives.
The officiant may add an additional religious ceremony following the nikah, which usually includes a recitation of the Fatihah -- the first chapter of the Quran -- and durud (blessings). Most Muslim couples do not recite vows; rather, they listen as their officiant speaks about the meaning of marriage and their responsibilities to each other and to Allah. However, some Muslim brides and grooms do say vows, such as this common recitation:
Bride: "I, (bride's name) offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife."
Groom: "I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband."
There are certain things which are basic to all Muslim marriages. Marriages have to be declared publicly. They should never be undertaken in secret. The publicity is usually achieved by having a large feast, or walimah - a party specifically for the purpose of announcing publicly that the couple are married and entitled to each other.
Many wedding customs are a matter of culture and not of Islam. The bride and groom may be obliged to sit on 'thrones' on a platform, to be seen by the guests. They may receive gifts, or gifts of money.
The majority of brides favour a traditional white wedding dress, but brides from the Asian subcontinent often favour a shalwar-qameez outfit in scarlet with gold thread, and have their hands and feet patterned with henna. They might also have vast feasts with hundreds of guests, usually with the males in a separate room from the females. Other Muslims have simple celebratory parties with only close friends and relatives.
The officiant may add an additional religious ceremony following the nikah, which usually includes a recitation of the Fatihah -- the first chapter of the Quran -- and durud (blessings). Most Muslim couples do not recite vows; rather, they listen as their officiant speaks about the meaning of marriage and their responsibilities to each other and to Allah. However, some Muslim brides and grooms do say vows, such as this common recitation:
Bride: "I, (bride's name) offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife."
Groom: "I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband."
Symbols
The Number 7- The number 7 is very symbolic in Islamic weddings. The number 7 is seen as a direct link to the power of the divine. A tradition in Islamic weddings is for 7 happily married women to touch the bride's wedding gown to ensure a happy marriage.
Thrones- The thrones symbolise that the couple has a way of being the 'King and Queen' of the ceremony.
Henna on the bride's hands and feet- signify love and affection in a marriage and the longer it retains the more it is auspicious for the bride.
Thrones- The thrones symbolise that the couple has a way of being the 'King and Queen' of the ceremony.
Henna on the bride's hands and feet- signify love and affection in a marriage and the longer it retains the more it is auspicious for the bride.